Johnny Depp and Amber Heard: Getting Married THIS WEEK?!

It’s been a rocky road for Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

The fact that their relationship began on the set of The Rum Diary (while Johnny was still in a relationship with the mother of his children) should’ve been all the tip-off Amber needed, and sure enough, there have been rumors that Depp’s drinking is driving heard away.

But either the rumors about Johnny sobering up are true, or Amber just shrugged and went, “Meh. He’s super rich,” because Page Six reported today that Johnny and Amber will tie the knot at his private island in the Bahamas some time this week.

“She’s filming a movie in London and he’s getting ready to film the next Pirates of the Caribbean in Australia,” says one insider. “So this is the only time everyone could get together.”

The source adds that accommodations on the island are so “sparse” that everyone in attendance will be forced to sleep on a boat.

Only Depp would spend a week partying on a boat right before he goes off to film a pirate movie for three months.

The island reportedly has a number of small beaches – two named after Depp’s kids, one named after his ex Vanessa Paradis, and two named after his departed friends Marlon Brando and Hunter S. Thompson.

We imagine that was an awkward conversation:

“Where should we do this thing? On the beach named after my ex, the beach named after my kids with my ex, or the beaches named after dead party monsters?”

We kid. Depp and Heard got engaged over a year ago and there have been many breakup rumors along the way, so we’re happy to hear these two are finally making it official. Congrats, you crazy kids!